There’s this quiet panic that creeps in sometimes. A fear I don’t always have the words for, but I feel it in my chest, in my calendar, in the quiet hours after the kids go to bed.
I’m scared of being left behind.
Time keeps moving. Faster than I can catch up. I’m always racing, racing to become the next best version of myself. A better mom. A stronger woman. A more successful business owner. A healed version of me.
But the truth is… I’m scared to just be. Because being still means sitting in the reality that my time isn’t endless. That my kids will grow up and one day, they’ll leave. I don’t want to look up when that day comes and realize that I have nothing that’s mine. No identity beyond “mom.” No passion project turned business. No dream fulfilled. No purpose, just… silence.
So I hustle. I build. I try. Not because I’m not grateful for this season of motherhood, but because I know it’s not forever. I want something meaningful to hold onto when the rooms get quiet.I want to build something I can pass down, not just a business, but a legacy. Something my kids can step into if they want to. Something that helps them get ahead. Something that shows them that their mom didn’t quit, even when it was hard.
Maybe one day they’ll look back and say, “She made something from nothing. She didn’t wait until the world gave her permission. She created her own path and made room for us to do the same.”
That’s the dream. On the days I’m tired and unsure, it’s the thing that keeps me going. I don’t need to go viral. I don’t need to be famous. But I do want to matter, to myself. To my kids. To the woman I’m becoming. I just don’t want to be left behind. So I’m building something now, for them.
If you feel this too? You’re not alone. We’re building. Even when no one’s watching.
Someday… they’ll see.
-CAS